the undying need to scream
by CRIM3S
Summary: steven makes a big mistake and he will do anything to make brendan forgive him rated M couldn't think of better name!


_**2 years ago..**_

You don't like the way Steven's looking at you. You thought he'd love this. You though he'd be happy.

"What's the matter, don't you like it Steven?" you shuffle from foot to foot.

He can't even look at you. He's staring straight at the ground breathing heavily. You ache for him to look at you, even just a little glimpse. Just to get a feel of how he's feeling, but he doesn't move.

You're really starting to worry now, you take a step forward and his whole body tenses.

"Steven if you don't like it all you have to do is say, it's not like the world will stop turning"

He looks at you, and he's seconds away from crying you can tell. You walk forward to comfort him and ask him what's wrong but he runs to the toilet and violently throws up. You rub his back for comfort but he just shrugs your hand off him. He leans against the toilet seat, not saying a word.

You pull his chin so he faces you and you give him a weak smile, but he doesn't return it. He doesn't even look at you, he looks everywhere except you.

You feel sick now; something's not right Steven's never like this. He's normally on you and dragging you to the bedroom as soon as you come home. What if he's planning on breaking up with you? No. This cannot be happening. You've lived without him before and you do not want to go through that again.

"Steven if I've done something...Please, just... Just tell me so I can make it right" You need him to look at you; you need him to tell you what's wrong. You need him to reassure you that everything's ok.

He continues to look anywhere, he takes a deep breath.

"No." His voice is quiet, barely even a whisper. "No, it's not you Bren. It's me. I've fucked everything up"

You let out a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding. Its ok you've done nothing wrong. You haven't fucked everything up with this boy. You reach a hand out to wipe away a stray tear that's fallen from his eye.

He's so beautiful it amazes you. It amazes you how much you need him, how you feel like you can't breathe without him. His beauty suffocates you. Everything about Steven is perfect. His beautiful smooth, golden skin. His bambi eyelashes, his kissable plump lips, you love the way his nose point. Everything about Steven is perfect that it scares you just how much you need him.

You lean forward and kiss his head.

He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. You pull him into your arms and stroke his back. Steven sighs and settles into your chest. You're different in so many ways but it's like you're made for each other.

You're taller than Steven, more bulky, he has a bare chest yours is full of thick black hair

You rub your nose against his back and murmur

"How've you fucked it up Steven?"

He stills in your arms and then turns and looks at you. He smiles and rubs his nose against yours.

"forget I said out. I just been sick ent' I weren't thinkin' properly, thank you for the candles and the meal you've cooked that i en't gonna get to eat" he kissed your temple "what's the special occasion?"

He looks into your eyes now and runs his fingers through your hair. You lean into his touch.

"Duno can't a man do something nice for his boyfriend Steven. Beside we've been together for four months, I know that's not like a massively long time I just wanted to prove to you that I have changed and that I do love you"

Steven eyes well up again and he goes back to looking at anything but you.

You don't understand what his problem is, but you hate seeing him like this. You start to nibble his ear. Placing small gentle kisses down his neck, across his jaw until you reach his mouth.

"And to be honest" kiss "I was hoping" another kiss "to get a fuck out this" you lick his lower lip and then you give him the most gentle kiss and when you pull back you plastered a sweet innocent face on your lips.

"dead romantic ent you, come on then let's fuck" he gets up and makes his way to the bedroom leaving you sitting on the bathroom floor.

Something isn't right, you need to confront him about this. Need to ask him what's wrong so you can get through this together but as soon as you reach the bedroom all thoughts of talking erase from your mind when you see him laying there, gloriously naked, dirtiest grin on his face.

You aren't aware you're staring at him taking in all of his body until his voice breaks through the room

"You gonna get on me or what Bren?"

Cheeky fucker.

"Who's the romantic now Steven?" you smile and walk over to him.

He grabs you by your tops and pulls you in for the most desperate, passionate kiss. When you pull back you stroke his chin.

"Steven what's wrong?"

He stares at you and shakes his head

"Nothing...It's nothing, I'm just...duno just being stupid ent I" he tries to laugh it off but you know him. He goes in for another kiss but you turn your head.

You sigh and settle down beside him.

"Please Steven, just tell me what's wrong" you can hear the panic in your voice now.

Steven looks down at the floor, then at the wall, then at you. He takes a deep breath in

"You do still love me, don't ya?"

What? Where the fuck has the come from. You want to shake the boy of course you fucking love him. You love him so much it consumes you.

"Of course I fucking love yis Steven" you smile at him but he still looks worried.

"We're gonna be alright me and you aren't we?"

You can see how much he needs this. How much he needs you to reassure him that everything's ok.

You place a gentle kiss and smile at him.

"Yeah. Yeah we are"

He smiles at you now and runs his hands over your body.

"I love you" He's grinning like a high school boy now.

You kiss his neck and you hear a groan escape from his lips.

"I love ye too Steven" you pull him into your arms and you kiss the tops of his head.

You lay there in the quiet thinking about the boy in front of you, how tonight hadn't gone how you planned. You suddenly felt exhausted. You close your eyes and welcomed a peaceful sleep.

XOXO

Sunlight.

I blink, turning to nestle an arm under the warm body lying next to

mine. He appears to be fast asleep, near motionless under white covers. A

slow rise and fall of his bare chest is the only clear indication that this

is real, he is here, and I beside him. The familiar shrill calls of the

rousing seagulls outside remind me where I am, and I feel a slow smile make

its way onto my face.

I've always loved the ocean.

My right hand slowly makes its way beneath the loose band of his dark

boxers, reaching into its familiar depths. I find what I am looking for, my

callused fingers closing slowly around his rock-hard erection, a shape

oddly familiar to my own. He gives a small start awake.

"Morning." I venture.

He looks at me and grins lopsidedly. "Your hand is around my dick."

I feign surprise. "Indeed it is."

"Well, you insatiable bastard-" he shifts to face me, "-what are you going

to do about it?"

My silent answer is only the tightening of my grip, at which he gives a

small groan in his throat and attempts to squirm away. I press even closer,

my arousal all too evident against his naked back. I see him mouth my name

against his arm, as my gaze traces the firm square outline of his

jaw, the stubble that grazes me as I press my nose against his skin and

deeply inhale the warm musk that emanates.

The mere scent of him used to drive me near mad with lust, with nothing I

could do but indulge in my own private fantasies. It had seemed so

throughly surreal that we had ended up here. Past the underlying sexual

tension that had existed before, past the violence, past me not admitting to who I was.

I gently rub the underside of his cock's head with a finger, watching his

eyes roll back in his head at the sensations. He was already wet and slick

with anticipation, there was nothing I enjoyed more than making him drip with sheer need.

"This. This is mine." I whisper fiercely in his ear as I rapidly increase

the rhythm of my right hand. The fingers of my left are firmly tousled

within his rumpled hair, pulling his head back as I roughly jerk him

off. He starts emitting little whimpering noises and grunts that make me

painfully hard, and I watch his angular face as he gasps that he is coming,

spasming and shuddering in my arms as his stomach tightens and I can see

the outline of each abdominal muscle.

I feel, rather than see, the warm ropes of his cum as they wetly paint my

enclosed fist. His fingers dig into my bicep, almost as a silent plea to

stop. Then he is still, staring at the cracked ceiling and breathing

heavily.

In one swift movement, Steven is suddenly straddled on top of me, his face

curiously expressionless. His lean frame weighs down hard and seems all too

insistent, demanding. He is still panting, but his eyes never leave mine as

he solidly rubs his cum-drenched stomach against mine. My balls are so tight. I make an anguished sound and curse, trying to push him off me. But he's having none of it, I can feel myself losing control here and It's something I'm not used to but seeing Steven looking as horny as he does now I can't help but do nothing but make senseless

noises of pleasure beneath him as he pins my hands to the side of my

head. He leans in close to the side of my face, and all I see are his high

his long bambi eyelashes and the shadows they form with the sunlight from the window above us. Fuck he is so hot.

Steven likes to hold me down while I cum, so he can see me while I am

at my most vulnerable. Anyway why am I even thinking when I should be concerating on how the boy is making me feel right now. Fuck. My boy is amazing. Soon, the friction against his naked heat and moist hardness is too much. I explode, shooting thick gobs of cum between us as I make choked growls. Just as I'm about to push him off me, He holds me tightly as my shudders rack my body and subside. He interlocks out fingers and places a gentle kiss on my lips.

"I love you" he whispers and gently slides off and rolls to my side.

I've never been this happy before in my life. I kiss his nose and pull him in to me. I kiss him lazily, messily and slowly. I smiled

"I know ye do ye hot fuck"

We lay there in silence. Silence with Steven is comfortable. We understand each other.

I look down at our sweaty bodies. The bed is covered in our cum so are our bodies. I slowly stroke up Steven's back and lean into his ear

"Wanna grab a shower before I go to work?"

"Yeah, sounds good. But first you're taking me out to breakfast you can make it up to me for blowing me off lately"

I squeeze his arse "Ok fine. God Steven, so demanding"

He lets out that fucking donkey laugh of his then his phone goes off. He leans over to grab it.

I feel him tense in my body.

"What's wrong? Who is it?"

He doesn't say a word. He doesn't look at me. He grabs his phone unwraps himself from my body, throws on some clothes. He's about to walk out the door when he says

"Nothing. I've got to go out, I'll see ya later ok"

Before I can protest, he's gone. I hear the front door slam.

What the fuck is going on?


End file.
